Tick Tock Taper

I'm questioning everything right now. I have no clue what my fitness has in store for me, come Sunday.

I can hang my hat on this: In the 15 weeks leading up to this marathon I will have run 1,068 miles. That includes a few down weeks and a cut back leading into August's vacation.

I've never run that many miles leading into a marathon before.

In the 15 weeks leading up to each sub-2:40, here's what I've done:

'13 Boston: 961 (2:38:23, tough course / near PR)

'12 Philly: 1,002 (2:39:40, the insomnia marathon)

'11 CIM: 877 (2:38:14, PR... spectacular)

'11 Rotterdam: 875 (2:38:46... spectacular)

'10 NYC: 1,006 (2:50/DNF... over trained, blew up)

'10 London: 725 (2:39:53... post-SFX, under trained, still near PR)

'09 Chicago: 987 (2:39:38... spectacular)

The only time I came close to these miles was for NYC in 2010. I pulled the plug on the training early as I was overcome with a calf strain. Without cutting it short, I probably could've squeaked in another 30 miles. I still tried to race it, but then blew up in it. At the time, that was my best fitness. I still wonder if I've actually ever been in that good of shape since then... (Hell, I haven't PRd my half since then).

My taper has me second guessing everything right now. I'm still sitting on 62 miles in the last 7 days (more than usual), and with only 4 more days to go. I'm still sore and achy. This needs to go away ASAP. I'll track it tomorrow night, then flush the system with a massage and few days off. Shake out on Saturday. Maybe that'll do the trick?

I know if I have the rest, I can be fast... I don't know how fast, but there is fitness in me... Will I allow the rest though? Will I get enough?? I can take 2 more days off. To keep my sanity though, I also need to run a few more days... I need the pre-marathon workout and a shakeout. I almost wanna only take 1 day off.

I have 4 days to go.

I feel like a crack addict.... I just need one more hit... The clock ticks loudly. It's starting to consume me.

Fucking taper. Fucking miles of trials and trials of miles.